Do a Proper Check Before You Proceed

I remember my mum paying a 2-year rent for a building when she wanted to start a school several years ago. The house was strategically located and the design was just perfect for a nursery and primary school. There really wouldn't be a need for serious changes or modifications so she eagerly decided to take the place .

Some days before the school was supposed to kick off, she took the keys to the house and decided to have a quick stroll through it in preparation for the move in of furniture the following day. She went from room to room trying to envision what the settings of the class would be like with the teacher standing before the pupils.

And then she got to the door of a particular room. She carefully inserted every single key on the bunch she was given into the key hole but none would open it. It was at that point she remembered that the person in charge of the building had given an excuse to her on the day she came to check the building initially that the locks on the door to that particular room was bad.

She called a carpenter who came to force the door open. To her utmost surprise, she saw that someone had been buried in the room. Saying she was shocked was an understatement. She lost the rent because they wouldn't refund the money.

Sometimes, the excitement that comes with being newly engaged to a handsome man or being offered a new job after years of searching for one may make us overlook certain important areas of the decisions we are about to take. We just hurry off to say "Yes" without checking with the Holy Spirit if He is okay with that decision.

Like my mum who could have insisted on them opening up the door to that one room for her to inspect but didn’t and suffered the consequence of taking a decision in haste, we will find ourselves in a ditch if we refuse to allow God do the check on EVERY step we are about to take.

 We can save ourselves the stress of going round in circles or being utterly robbed of our God given destinies/resources by simply learning to patiently wait for the Lord to give us a clear or not about every decision we are about to make. Leave no stone unturned. Take no chances.

A child of the God should walk in the spirit by following the lead of the Holy Spirit.

Before you jump off the cliff, be sure it is God that is asking you to jump and not some self motivated voice on your inside.

Pause and Pray before you proceed to make your final decision.

~ OMOSEBI Mary Omolola
© 2016

Celebrate Your Love

It so happens that my husband's birthday and our wedding anniversary are exactly 7days apart so i normally put up posts to celebrate both on Facebook. Last year, someone on my friend list made a comment on the birthday post I had put up to celebrate my husband. This person said I should not proclaim my husband. And his reason is that he felt I should be scared of husband snatchers. All I could do at that time was smile endlessly.

Here really is the point. I am a minister and my marriage is a ministry. I am an encourager and my marriage should be too. I don't talk about my life to brag to anyone but to encourage people that they can have fulfilling relationships under God. I do what i do out of personal conviction. I have never said my life/spouse/marriage was perfect. I am simply an epitome of God's grace and I am ALWAYS humbled by that fact.

However, we hear too many negative stories about marriage in our wold today. We need to counter the effect of all the negativity though by pitching the positive stories to the glory of God. The very reason I love posts where spouses celebrate their marriages of several years.

I remember someone reacting to that friend's comment and asking why I still thanked the person for such a comment. My response was that we see things differently one from another and my show of gratitude was not sarcastic. I meant it. It doesn't necessarily mean one is right and the other is wrong if we hold varying views about an issue. What's important is to have the right motives for whatever we do and how we do them.

Well, as usual I talked to God about that incidence and I got a clear. . .

"There is no fear in love" was what I heard in my spirit.

I love the book of Songs of Solomon like wetin happen. And it is a support system for this post.

The man and his woman in that book did so well celebrating their love. They told each other how wonderful they were to each other. . . And they told others too.

The love they shared obviously thrived so well. They watered their love with their words as they did with their actions.

I have heard some married women say that the last time they heard their husbands tell them that they loved them was on their wedding day. And God help those who got married in a country like Nigeria where you don't even have to say "I love you", to your spouse on your wedding day.

I feel so elated when my husband speaks highly about me while teaching in Church or while just speaking to people. Of course I know he loves me but we still make sure to affirm our love for each other at every given opportunity.

I sometimes laugh within myself when I see someone talking to the spouse over the phone end the call with "you too". I could almost guess that the person on the other side of the phone had said "I love you". You shouldn't get tired of saying "I love you" to your spouse. . . And be sure you mean it.

When last did you tell your wife or husband that you love them?

When last did you send an SMS or email to remind him/her how much you cherish him/her?

How about you pick up your phone and give your spouse a call. . .Tell him/her you are thinking of him and you love her.

Yes, he/she probably knows that you love him/her. It is however imperative that you tell your spouse constantly.

It's okay if you decide to celebrate your love only in the corners of your house.

 It's okay also if you decide to ask others to celebrate with you like the Shulamite in the book of Song of Solomon. 

However way you decide. . .

Choose wisely. . .

Just make sure you celebrate and strengthen the chords of your love. Celebrate your spouse! Celebrate the grace of God. Celebrate God's way.

~ OMOSEBI Mary Omolola
© 2016

Organise Annual General Meetings

Two men sat at the table next to mine in a restaurant and I just couldn't help but overhear their discussion because they wouldn't just tone their voices down. The part of their conversation that struck me was something like this:

Mr. A: How is your marriage my friend? You don't seem to be looking happy these days.
Mr. B: You just asked me a JAMB question o. The last 2 years seem like 20 years. I am even tired. My wife is nothing like she was in the first few months of our marriage. She is now always moody and complaining that I don't give her the attention she desires from me. We stopped praying together months back sef. Our sex life is a total mess. The few times we get intimate, she would just lay there. It seems she just allows me to have my way out of obligation. And I am the only one that initiates the intimacy. Thank God I am a Christian, who know what measures I might have taken?
Mr. A: Hmmm. .  . It is well o. But have you talked with her about all these issues you have raised?
Mr. B: We barely talk o. Except for the casual greetings.
Mr. A: My dear brother, you really need to have a meeting with your wife immediately before things go totally out of hands. Set out time to discuss with your wife and allow her pour out her mind without restrictions. You should do the same too. I will be praying along with you

I smiled to myself as I gulped the last portion of my drink and rose to leave the restaurant. Thank God for Mr. A whose advice was just what I would have said too (Else I might have been forced to join their discussion. Lol).

Now to my message for married folks today:

I recommend that couples organise Annual General Meetings  (AGM), or Quaterly General Meetings (QGM) or Monthly General Meetings  (MGM) as the case may be, for the stakeholders in your marriage.

This is important to help you keep in touch with each other. Like I always say, "I just don't want to wake up one day and find out that a truck (not only lizard) can now pass in between my husband and I."

These meetings need to be intentionally fixed and regular. Go to the meeting without bias and be ready to listen and speak with all sincerity. The complaints from all parties involved should be matters arising and dealt with accordingly. Resolve to make sure that you attend to every matter without any iota of selfishness.

This is not a call to battle. It is a call to seek peace.

Let God be the chairman of those meetings. Yield yourselves to His directions for your situation through His words and trust Him to help you maintain decorum in your marriage.

When is your next general meeting going to be?

It takes two to tango

Sometimes, scientific principles work well in real life. In mathematics, when you multiply a positive number with a negative number, the result is a negative value. This principle is applicable to marriage.

I have seen under many circumstances, only one partner in a marriage willing to make the marriage work. The other person goes around with a negative vibe. This negatively charged person has a nonchalant attitude towards the marriage. He/she just crosses his/her legs without any iota of willingness to see the marriage succeed. They even sometimes threaten their partners with quitting the marriage.

When two people embark on an assignment to move something, they cannot experience progress with one person pushing while the other is pulling. The two people involved in a marriage must be positively charged for their marriage to succeed.

Many people, especially women lament about the imbalance in advice given to married couples by counsellors. Even the entertainment world holds the same stance. They tell the woman that the marriage belongs to her. They make it look like only one person is responsible for the success of a marriage. They tell the woman so many things she should do and refuse to tell the man what he should be doing.

I have never been able to get my head around this absurd indoctrination. And as a matter of fact, I believe this has gone a long way in destroying many marriages that may have survived.

It is very important to get it into our heads, males and females alike, that both genders must be ready to work at having a successful marriage. All hands must be on deck.

It is time for you to stop the blame - game.  Own up to your faults and take responsibility for your role in the insanity of your marriage up until now.

Both the husband and wife should pray for their marriage.
Both the husband and wife should submit to God and to one another.
Both the husband and wife should love each other. . .

Else, you get yourself a malnourished marriage. If you refuse to invest in your marriage you shouldn't expect good fruits of happiness in your marriage either. It's a simple principle.

So, instead of standing aloof and complaining about what your spouse is not doing right, join forces together to build a good marriage with the help of God.

. . .and the two of you shall chase ten thousand as against one thousand that only one of you will.

A marriage will never work if only one person is trying to push the marriage to safety.

Just like in a tango, where both partners must concentrate on the dance and watch out for the other party lest they suffer any form of injury, it indeed takes two to make a marriage work.

~ OMOSEBI Mary Omolola
© 2016

Please, Leave These Children Alone!

Children nowadays are under so much pressure compared to what it was back in the day. Parents want their 2 year olds to be able to write 1-100 and I am like for what purpose exactly? You hear some parents brag about the ridiculous speed they subject their children to.

I remember someone saying to me I should have stopped wearing diapers for my 15 month old baby and I am like, "He's still a baby fa".

Why the rush?

Mum A compares her child with the child of mum B. If her own child is not moving as fast as the other child, she begins to push the child unduly. We forget that each child is unique and the timing of their development too are different one from the other.

Do you want your child to crash and burn? Why not allow your child go at the pace that is right for him/her?

The fact is that not only children are victims of this absurdity. Parents too are. Especially parents of the children who are judged to be moving slowly according to the standard of fellow parents.

We indirectly instil in these children competitive spirits. Instead of encouraging them to embrace who they are and appreciate God for making them like He has.

Note that I am not making excuses for laxity.

And some children are faster when it comes to certain things. They are specially designed to move faster in certain areas of their lives.

My point is that there is time for everything. . .

Two children born by the same mother wouldn't necessarily walk or talk at the same age. Each one will take on the challenge he/she is fit to when the time is right. For instance, my first child brought forth her first set of teeth when she was 3+ months while the other at 6 month. Unique trends were noticed with other developmental stages without one necessarily always faster than the other.

Putting on the attitude of celebrating uniqueness has helped me shove unreasonably speeds that others have tried to enforce on my children.

Give your child a push when necessary and let him/her evolve into what God has designed him or her to be naturally.

Stop dressing your child up like an adult. Let your child be a child. Let him/her enjoy this phase of his/her life.

Allow your children move at their own pace. Let them learn to always stick to their lanes in the races of life from childhood.

May God help parents understand and align with God's plan for our children!

~ OMOSEBI Mary Omolola
© 2016

God’s Approval Versus Man's Approval

We must live to seek God's approval first. SOMETIMES, doing what pleases God also pleases others (especially godly people), but that is not always the case. The voice of men can never always be the voice of God (unlike the world says). God has many enemies who love evil more than good. We must balance properly the priority of being approved by God with the desire to also be approved by others.

For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts (1Thess 2vs4).

For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God, and others will approve of you, too (Rom 14vs17-18).

Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart.
Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation (Prov 3vs3-4).

Celebrate the Lord

As we celebrate the Lord with our family, we role model the Lord's presence in our lives. This is one of the greatest inheritance we can give to our children and grandchildren; it is a treasure to be passed on to future generations.

Then your children will ask, ‘What does this ceremony mean?’ (Ex 12vs26)

Many sacrifices were offered on that joyous day, for God had given the people cause for great joy. The women and children also participated in the celebration, and the joy of the people of Jerusalem could be heard far away(Neh 12vs43).

These days would be remembered and kept from generation to generation and celebrated by every family throughout the provinces and cities of the empire. This Festival of Purim would never cease to be celebrated among the Jews, nor would the memory of what happened ever die out among their descendants (Esther 9vs28).

 Our God loves to celebrate. He celebrates the defeat of sin and evil, the salvation of the lost, and thhe daily joys and successes of His people.

 You rejoiced at the desolation of Israel’s territory. Now I will rejoice at yours! You will be wiped out, you people of Mount Seir and all who live in Edom! Then you will know that I am the LORD (Ez 35vs15).

In the same way, there is joy in the presence of God' angels when even one sinner repents (Lk 15vs10).

“The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’ (Matt 25vs23).

God celebrates. . .Who shouldn't you?

THERE ARE STILL HAPPY MARRIAGES. YOU CAN HAVE ONE

I have had the privilege to relate with many people who have resolved not to get married. They, out of fear of the outcome of their choice believe it is better to remain single.

I tell them, "I have been there before". I had vouched NEVER to get married if the picture of marriage I could see in most places around me was what marriage was really about. I was scared to death of marriage.

However, being relatively an emotional person, I definitely had to pour my love somewhere. I found the perfect avenue. I focused all my energy on pouring my love on God. And it was refreshing.  I loved doing just that (and i still do). I just loved being in God’s presence and working for Him. And I wanted Him to be the only one to share that level of intimacy with.

Lo and behold, while having a chat with The Lord one day, I heard clearly, "I need you to get married". I began to protest against that voice. I gave reason upon reason why I thought it was best I stayed single. And the reply was simple. "Your motivation is fear. There is no fear in me. Don’t worry, I will not let you make a mistake. I have prepared one of my sons for you"

My hand dropped. I began to let loose a little. I began to pray for my married life afterwards. Trust me though, the Omolola that I am, I was still afraid of the choice I believed God had approved up until a week before the wedding when I prayed some violent prayers and was ready to call off the wedding if that was not the right path. I was blessed with peace.

Is my marriage perfect? No. Why? We are two imperfect people married to each other. But we enjoy the grace of God. We are happy and fulfilling purpose.

You can have a happy marriage too my friends. Yes, there are so many unhappy marriages and the divorce rate is on the increase but there are still happy marriages. I know several happy marriages- Those that are happy for real. Not the type that are just faking their happiness and are just enduring their marriage.

Desire a happy marriage. Pray for it. God will give you one. Let God lead you along the best pathway for your life (Psalm 32:8).

God gives good gifts to His children. Just be ready to follow His instructions 100%.

Clear out from your mind the negative notions you have about marriage. Look foward to having a marriage that you will enjoy and not endure. And be ready to work at having a marriage that honours God.

The fact that your parents had a wobbly marriage doesn't mean that you would too. History does not have to repeat itself with you like it has with your siblings. You don't have to marry a wife abuser like your neighbour did.

Do it right. Walking this road with God is the right way that will lead you to the right destination.

I pray for the ear that hears the Lord clearly for you in Jesus' name.

~ OMOSEBI Mary Omolola
© 2016

God Loves You Anyway

I was going through the Book of Genesis some days back and when I got to the place where Cain was chastised for killing his brother, Abel, I was reminded of the unfailing love of God.

God loves even when He is meting out punishment. God cared for Cain's wellbeing even though he had been sentenced to being a vagabond. No one was permitted to do him harm despite the fact that he was being punished by God. God still had his back.

God's love never fails. Even if you stop loving Him, He loves you still. How reassuring!

This is to say that it is not what you do or don't do that makes God love you. God always loves you. God loves sinners but He hates the sin that sinners commit.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or anguish, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Romans 8:35, 38-39 ASV)

Yes, we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us.

You see His love being described here again?

God's love makes it possible for us to live meaningful lives.

Never think that God does not love you. No matter what's going on in your life at the moment (yes, no matter how bad thing are), know for sure that God loves you.

Even if you are being punished for a wrong done, His love is revealed in His discipline.

God’s love is everlasting.

Praise God!

~ OMOSEBI Mary Omolola
© 2016

Don't Lie to Us, Your Middle Name is Esau!

Many of us are usually quick to judge Esau- the son of Isaac, when in actual fact we act just like him and qualify to be christened "Esau".

Esau sold his birthright for a plate of red pottage. He made life changing decisions based on momentary pain of his flesh. Satisfying his hunger for food seemed more important than his lifelong inheritance.

So, how do I know that you are either a Hesau or a Shesau?

The enemy of your soul keeps coming in his craftiness to take your salvation away from you. He wants to take it away in exchange for fame, money, and any good thing of life you can think of. Sadly, these things are temporal.

When you make light of your godly inheritance as a child of God, you are no different from Esau.

When you trade your body for money or marks in school, you are an Esau too.

When you sleep with a man because you do not want him to leave you for another lady, you are selling your birthright for marriage.

When you sleep with your boss for a promotion and decide to call a mad man your groom all in the name of progress, that is the height of foolishness.

When you bribe your way up the business or career ladder, you are walking on the wrong path.

When you choose to visit an herbalist for the healing of your body don't you know you are trading that with the health of your spirit which will remain after the body is gone?

Is God opening your eyes to see areas where you have traded your birthright for worldly goodies?

Are you now very sure that your other name is not Esau?

Congratulations if that is the case.

But please don't do a change of name.

Remain within the confines of grace. Hold on firmly to the faith you profess.

NOTHING is worth loosing your godly inheritance for.

In case you already traded off your birthright, how about you humble yourself before God and plead with Him for restoration. God can do that for you if you ask Him. Repent from your birthright trading business and face God squarely. 

I pray for increased grace for survival within the Kingdom boundaries for you today in Jesus' name!

- Omosebi Mary Omolola
© 2016